Why wait around hoping to be picked for the next season of The Bachelor when the land of virtual romance awaits?
A new online survey, Love in the Age of Social Media, by ad and marketing agency Euro RSCG Worldwide shows that more than one-third of Americans believe it's possible to have a romantic relationship online.
"It's somewhat embarrassing when we say we met on Twitter," says Paull Young, 27, of New York. He and Heather D'Amico, 25, had a purely professional, friendly relationship on Twitter, "until we met in person about a year and a half later." The two say they've been happily dating for a year now.
The Internet has accelerated the way people deal with relationships, says David Jones, global CEO of Euro RSCG, whose survey of 1,000 U.S. men and women ages 18 and older highlights generational differences as well as differences in attitudes between men and women.
Though the survey notes that younger adults are more likely to feel comfortable about using the Internet and social media to connect romantically, 22% of men and 12% of women surveyed have had a romantic, sexual or erotic relationship online, even some of those over 65 (7%).
"This study underscores the striking degree to which the Internet has become our new reality," says psychologist Sherry Turkle of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, who studies online behavior and relationships. Her latest book, Alone Together: Why We Expect More From Technology and Less From Each Other, was published in January.
"Old and young, people admit to experiences with online romance and eroticism," Turkle says.
Though some relationships may be fully played out online, others may evolve into a real-life romance, Turkle adds.
Leah Schklar, 32, of Washington, D.C., says she met her boyfriend on Craiglist. "We talked for about a week and then met in a bookstore," she says.
Gina Duckett, 42, was on Match.com only a few weeks when she met her boyfriend; they've been dating for nine months.
"The best part of online dating is that you get an opportunity to meet people that you might never run into in your daily life," says Duckett, a mother of two whose day-to-day interactions consist of work contacts, elementary school parents and neighbors.
It's not surprising that the survey found men are more likely to hope for, pursue and have more romantic relationships online, says Ilse Wendorff, a clinical psychologist in Washington, D.C.
"It feels very old, this pattern of behavior. It's digital Darwinism, I suppose - men seeking both more, and more 'fit' mates to further propagate their genes."
Though Duckett's boyfriend was "cuter in person than in his pictures," that's not always the case.
"People present their best self," Wendorff says. "They post clever notes that can be thought out and edited before being sent, put up their most attractive photos, and simply omit any faults."
And then there's cheating. About two-thirds of married survey respondents say the Internet offers more chances to cheat; almost a third know somebody whose relationship ended because of their actions online.
"Social media can enhance real-world relationships," but can mean the end of relationships, too, Jones says.
Wendorff says it's a concern: "We'll have to figure out ... how to make sure that the online 'relationships' don't interfere with real-life relationships. Online flirtations and Internet porn use can be a substitute for slogging through real relationships and awkward sexual liaisons.
"It will continue to be tempting and easy to substitute a nagging wife or an inattentive husband with a click of your mouse."
By Mary Brophy Marcus, USA TODAY